Staying Friends After Divorce
Relationships can be challenging in so many ways. When two people marry, they take the vow, “until death do us part.” Unfortunately, as time goes on, some relationships turn downward, resulting in separation and divorce.
If you choose to divorce, the challenges you have faced while married are undoubtedly substantial. But it is vital to know that the after-effects and interactions with your ex can seriously affect yourself and your children.,
No matter how complicated the relationship was before and during the divorce, it would be best if you tried to be friends. It is in the best interest of your health and the well-being of your children.
Is it healthy for divorced parents to be friends? It certainly is for you and the children.
This article addresses a few tips to help you down the path toward friendship.
Good Communication is Key
To start, communication between the two of you is critical. And when we say communication, we mean good communication, not hostile and harsh.
Try to leave the unhappy past behind you. Do not continue with the blame game. Instead, discuss the children and their aspirations for the future. If there is a hobby you both share an interest in, have fun talking about it. Just let go of the past, move forward as friends or, at the very least, happy co-parents.
Keep it Positive
You are stressed, anxiety has gotten the best of you, and you are tired of the pain you have endured. Hurt and anger are expected after a complicated divorce. But do not let these feelings take over. It is vital to look forward and stay positive. Negativity will bring you down, and cause undue stress, which promotes illness.
Now think about your negative emotions and how bad you feel. Your children do not need any more anxiety in their life than they have already experienced. It’s hard enough for them to deal with two parents they love that are no longer together.
While with your children, never speak badly about your ex. Take the negative thoughts and transform them into positive thoughts. Understandably, it may be tough initially, but with a bit of practice, you will be amazed at how quickly and easily you can change your emotions. It will be best for all involved.
Be Respectful
Now that we have spoken about positivity let’s mention respect. Respect is a positive action or feeling toward someone. It conveys a sense of good even if you disagree with what the other person may believe or has said. Children will develop trust, feel secure and develop good behavior when parents respect each other. Of course, after a challenging divorce, respect may not come naturally; it will be something to work at.
Here are a few examples of how to show respect to your ex-spouse.
- Listen
- Seek common ground
- Understand
- Be polite
- Show gratitude
- Affirm viewpoints
- Offer encouragement
- Keep promises
Finding New Love
The time may come when you find new love. And vice versa, your ex-spouse may as well. How will you react to the new love in your ex-spouse’s life? It can be difficult but know that you will be putting the well-being of yourself and your children at risk if you do not handle this positively. You must continue good communication, stay positive and apply the examples above to always show respect. It may be a long and hard road, but finding common ground is key to raising happy and well-adjusted children.
If you have found a way to be friends, you have conquered half the divorce battle after marriage.
If you want additional family law expert advice, contact our law firm at Dalena & Bosch. It is always recommended spouses work with professionals to adjust to life after divorce. We would love to be by your side and help you in any way we can regarding your divorce.