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How To Win Your Divorce

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Jan 1, 2020

finish line

It’s the beginning of a new year (and a new decade!), so everyone is thinking about New Year’s resolutions. None of the attorneys on our team have ever been that good at keeping New Year’s resolutions, but we all set them. Who knows? Maybe this year will be the year that we lose 20 lbs, read a book every week, and run the Morris County Superhero Half Marathon. Then again, maybe not.

Even though we are lousy at keeping New Year’s resolutions, we are good at helping our clients set and keep realistic divorce goals. This involves thinking about what it really means to “win” a divorce case, and making a road map that will help us get our clients to that point.

What does “winning” actually look like to you?

We live in a culture obsessed with winning. Ricky Bobby told us “if you aren’t first you’re last.” Charlie Sheen convinced everyone winning has something to do with tiger’s blood. “Winning” a divorce even more abstract. It means something different to everyone.

Some people will only be happy if they take their ex to the cleaner. They want revenge, and the material goods to prove it. Others believe “the best revenge is a life well lived.” One of our first tasks when we meet with a new client is figuring out where they fall on this spectrum.

In our experience, it is more productive to focus on long-term plans than it is to think about who is at fault, or how your assets are split up — even if those things are also important.

We ask our clients questions like:

• Where do you see yourself living a year from today?
• What does having a healthy relationship with your children look like?
• What are your retirement plans?

Even in contentious cases where there are significant disagreements about child custody, or the division of a business, a little reflection on what is truly important is helpful.

Different Goals Require Different Tactics

Once we know what winning looks like to you, we can start to think about the best strategies for reaching your goal. The best path forward depends largely on your values, your life circumstances, and the relationship you have with your spouse. After hearing your story, we can guide you toward litigation, or help you manage the breakup through mediation, arbitration, or a collaborative divorce process. You deserve a divorce that fits your life, and that’s what we help you get.

Holding Your Hand When You Need It Most

No court can award you happiness, or wave a magic wand and make your life the way it was before your relationship with your partner soured. So it is important to think about what winning your case means to you, and then focus on getting to that point.

If you are looking for someone to guide you through that process, please contact our office to schedule a consultation. We are here to listen, support you, and hold your hand when you need it most.

Elizabeth Dalena helped me through a very difficult divorce and I felt working with her was like working with a friend you can trust! Beth, thank you for your professionalism and helping me through this difficult time.
Michael Mastrogiacomo - March 2020
If you’ve been searching for an honest and empathetic attorney...someone you can trust while you navigate the difficult and emotional world of family law, then do yourself a favor and contact Beth Dalena & Jessica Bosch. You’ll be so glad you did.
Par 5 Consulting - March 2020
When you are in the painful and often frightening process of divorce, the women of this law firm bring you confidence and security with their knowledge and professionalism. They exhibit that rare combination of the willingness to hold your hand like a compassionate friend and defend you like a piranha in the courtroom when necessary. They exhibit dedication, and the grace and wisdom of their long term experience. They look…
Cindy Morhouse - February 2020
These ladies have helped me several times in my experience with them. Jessica was my divorce attorney and I can say without hesitation, she was professionally and personally a gift to me. She handled my case (adversarial at best) with grace and knowledge. A fighter when necessary. She handled me in my personal state as a friend. Compassionate and kind. Beth assisted me with rewriting my deed after my divorce…
Scarlett O - January 2020
I chose Jessica A. Bosch to represent me because she was compassionate and knowledgeable. My divorce was a long and difficult journey. During this time, I lost sight of what was really important. Jessica kept me grounded and focused on what would be best for me after the divorce. I am grateful for her help in protecting two very important financial things that I might have given up. I didn't…
Cynthia R - December 2019